Traits that make me frown

The Hysteric

People that attribute simple errors or mishaps with pandemic dimensions fall into this category; people that crave drama in their life. There’s simply no such thing as a minor nuisance. You’ve got every right to get upset if people don’t live up to your expectations. Sudden bursts of feeble threats, richly textured descriptions of forthcoming doom will occur, along with huge amounts of scorn. Exaggerated use of words like ‘madness’, ‘idiocy’ and even ‘insanity’ occur. This trait seems common for hot-heads, the narrow minded and altruistic persons. They often regard themselves the salt of the earth. A lack of respect for other viewpoints and outlooks seems to be the core of the problem. It has to be acknowledged that most of these people mean well, but are simply utterly incapable to convey any message in a civilized fashion. Every person has an account of goodwill of which they can withdraw. Once this account is empty and overdrawn, nobody’s going to give a damn about your opinions.

The Laugher

This is more sad than anything else. Have you ever noticed people laughing at your every sentence? As if you’re a perpetual stand-up show by yourself. At first its okay – am I really that funny? But as the conversation goes forth, and you might touch upon more serious topics or misgivings, the constant giggling becomes a source of annoyance. The laughter is weak and phoney, and resembles a prolonged breath. It sounds something like ‘Heeeeehhhhh’. Of course, we all do this, to a certain extent, especially when connecting with new people. Out of fear of being rude, we acknowledge not particularly funny jokes with this half-assed response. At least what we perceive to be jokes, anyway. But when you’re really out of depth in social interaction this might very well become your standard response to anything. Laughers seldom participate actively in conversation, but encourage further monologue with this not-so-subtle gesture. There’s only one adequate word for this strange behaviour; insecurity. Please, do something else instead.

The Compulsory Liar

It seems like a cliché, because we’ve all heard of this phenomenon but we’ve rarely experienced it ourselves. Well, I have, and it’s not a pretty sight. This trait is linked to several others, most notably insecurity, sociopaths and all-out psychopaths. My experience in the field does not relate to psychos. If it had been, I wouldn’t have been disappointed, considering the diagnosis being terminal. There’s a significant difference between exaggerating and spicing up your stories for entertainment values, and simply lying for the hell of it, just because you can.

The Egocentric

If you believe that the universe revolves around you, that the world runs on your feelings, then this is your category. Of course, we all have moments like this, no denying that. But there’s a difference. If this is coded into their DNA, if this is their general outlook. Making excuses to themselves and others, often portraying the opposite as naïve and dumb. Lacking generosity, except in the rare cases where there’s something to gain. Besides good will and respect, that is. There’s more than a materialistic aspect to this, there’s also a social one. Often manifested as a lack of interest in others.

The Exhibitionist

Don’t you just love the image you see in the mirror? Don’t you deserve attention all the time? These narcissists will stop at nothing to suffocate you with themselves. Posting images in self-centred blogs or websites, modelling, wear extravagant clothing or accessories or simply getting nude at every opportunity. Having sex with the danger of being discovered seems to be their favourite pastime. What they lack is decency and understanding of tiring the audience, even provoking them. Not seldom, exhibitionists complain about being stalked or hassled in public. If you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen. And if you’re beautiful, there’s no need to rub it in peoples faces. The word occurring to me most of the time is ‘attention whore’.

The Cause

This doesn’t have to be about religion, it can also be a political issue, or any other issue for that matter. It could even be a product, considering the new marketing ideas. The signs are the same. Always trying to lead others to some path of glory; making them see the light. Patiently working friends and foes alike. Trying to debate them is often tiresome. If you’re doing well, the person will go sour and end the discussion based on faith. If you’re doing badly, the Cause will eagerly try to recruit you. If there’s religion involved nothing you say will stray them from their path, at least not before later. (Note: If you’re dealing with Muslims, wear boxing gloves). The most annoying thing is none the less their conceited moral supremacy.

The Weird Pretender

I guess I’m opening a new page in psychology here. I’ve noticed a strange trait, where people deliberately make themselves weirder than they really are. You could argue that they’re just weird, and that’s entirely true, but not in the fashion they’re trying to convey. It’s just another cry for attention. People deliberately acting out ticks, pretending to be mentally damaged by narcotics or otherwise. Stating absurd things, or not speaking at all. And somehow, you know that it’s a show, a role they put on – to impress, scare, provoke, induce sympathy or alienate you. You’ll eventually see the difference, observing the person interact with their surroundings. It changes all the time.

The Chameleon

Also known as posers or even hipsters. Those who’ll go to extremes just to fit in with their target group. They always end up loosing themselves, getting accustomed being everybody else. The sentence ‘I don’t know you anymore’, or ‘I thought I knew you’ frequently appears, and is always met with scorn. Personally, I file this under ‘insecurity’. Do not be all you can be, be yourself.

The Whiner

Self pity is the order of the day. Every day. Always trying to drag you down into their black hole. Endlessly displaying their depression, misery, frustration, mistrust, anger and/or problems. Whatever you and common friends do, they feel betrayed. These issues are a result of, or resulting in low self esteem, substance abuse, economic problems, depression or another mental disease. Some always blame themselves, which is just about as annoying as those whom always blame others. Try instilling some hope and possibilities, and watch it disappear into the bottomless black pit.

The Responsible

Closely related to those who are born to kiss rectums for self advancement, the responsible always do the right thing. And of course, judges everyone that doesn’t. Everything is in order all the time. Neat living conditions, paid bills, healthy food and exercise. The responsible always get up on time, floss, puts on fine clothing, go to school or work, and excels at it. Of course, all this has an expense; social interaction, partying or fun. They often wind up reclusive, with a holier than thou attitude (although they’re too perfect too show it). And disturbingly enough keep a secret cocaine habit going to manage the pressure they put on themselves.

The Flatterer

Don’t misunderstand me, the flatterer only kiss ass when there’s something to gain. In extreme cases the person can end up as a non-person, a robot working towards certain goals, cynically taking advantage of relationships to further them. Making friends only for exploitation, before moving on to new prey. Some people can reach far on this formula, but most will suffer exposure along the way. The flatterer can be a master of deceit and manipulation, but most are just amateurs, being back-talked, ridiculed and loathed. What they should realise, is that they only gain incompetence, shying away from the hard work themselves.

The Obedient

They say ‘jump’, you say ‘how high?’ Always ready to follow orders, instead of trusting their instincts. We’ve all been there, in the army, at work or in our insurance company. A lack of knowledge makes us trust whoever seems learned. And there’s nothing extraordinary about that, although there’s the ever present chance of being ripped off. People are able to carry out serious misdeeds, taking order and being relieved of responsibility of their actions. Certain people can smell weakness, and take advantage of your confusion and willingness to comply. Don’t be a push-over. Have some self respect.

People like Me

And what about those people that’s ranting endlessly in their blogs about things they don’t like? Do they even have the right of free speech? Someone should put them out of their misery. And those traits? I’ve got them all.